Love your wife

Show your wife you love her (1)

Sunday 8th March 2020

'Husbands, love your wives.' Ephesians 5:25 NKJV

Why does the Bible say, 'Husbands, love your wives...as Christ...loved the church and gave himself for her' (Ephesians 5:25 NKJV)? Because your wife needs to know you love her, think about her and include her in your plans, and that you consider her opinions, needs and desires. And if you don't tell her, she won't know it! So let's look at how Jesus loved the church, which began with twelve disciples who were flawed human beings, and learn how you should love your wife.

He loved them unconditionally. Was it always easy? No. But instead of nagging his disciples about what they were or were not, he rejoiced, thinking about what they would become when his grace had worked in their lives. Stop and remember the qualities you saw in your wife that initially attracted you to her. Over the years she may have gained a few pounds, added a few wrinkles, and sometimes seems buried under a mountain of housework. But she's still the same wonderful person you fell in love with. That's easy to forget, so you must constantly remind yourself - and her - of it. When roses are exposed to frost, they wither and die, but given the right amount of sunshine and rain - they flourish.

Describing an ideal wife, Solomon writes, 'Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her' (Proverbs 31:28 NKJV). Why did these children praise their mother? Because they saw their father do it! So if you've been too busy, too self-absorbed or too distracted, change your ways - and tell your wife how much you love her. (And by the way, ladies - that principle works both ways!)

Show your wife you love her (2)

Monday 9th March 2020

'He shall...bring happiness to his wife.' Deuteronomy 24:5 NKJV

The Bible says, 'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her' (Ephesians 5:25 NKJV). And since the disciples were the original church founders, let's look again at how Jesus treated them.

He spent time with them, talking and listening. Old Testament law required: 'When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife' (Deuteronomy 24:5 NKJV). Imagine, a whole year of doing nothing but loving and getting to know each other! Why did God plan it that way? Because no battle you'll ever fight, and no business you'll ever be involved in, is more important than building a lasting relationship with your spouse. A leading cause of divorce today is among couples who don't set aside time at the end of the workday to sit down together, free from the TV and telephone, and share their thoughts and feelings.

Do you know what never grows old? Caring, communicating and assuring your spouse that of all the places you could be right now, you'd rather be with them. Many times your wife will share problems with you, but it's not because she wants you to 'fix' them. Truth be told, some of the problems she discussed with you months ago remain unfixed, and she's okay with that! What she's looking for is empathy, understanding and support. When you listen attentively to her concerns, she feels loved and valued, and nine times out of ten, the problem fades into obscurity. It's a big return - on a small investment!

Show your wife you love her (3)

Tuesday 10th March 2020

'Rejoice with the wife of your youth.' Proverbs 5:18 NKJV

The Bible says, 'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ...loved the church' (Ephesians 5:25 NKJV), so let's take another look at how Christ loved the founders of the church, his twelve disciples.

He recognised their gifts. He rejoiced in their successes. He supported and encouraged them to grow to their full potential. Are you willing to do that? When you truly love someone, you won't try to hold them back or seek to control them because of your insecurities. You'll recognise their gifting, help them become everything God called them to be, release them, and celebrate their successes. And should their light shine brighter than yours, become their biggest cheerleader. If this wasn't modelled in your family of origin, chances are, you'll have to work at it. And if you had an unfaithful partner in a previous relationship, you may need to ask God to heal your heart and give you a new level of trust. Building this kind of relationship calls for a level of humility and honesty you're probably not used to. It may require overcoming your male ego, admitting your fears, and saying to your wife, 'I love you and I really want to trust you. Will you please help me?' Until you get through this stage and feel more secure about your relationship, a marriage partner who truly loves you will go the extra mile when it comes to telling you where they've been and who they spent time with during the day.

The truth is, sometimes you have to fight for your marriage - but it's worth it, because in the end, you both win!